There were six in the bed and the tired, grumpy Mummy said; “Anyone with a willy leave my bedroom NOW”
Occasionally being the lone female in a house of five boys (I include He Who Gets Way More Sleep) can feel a touch overpowering. 90% of the time I love the noise and chaos.
I can clearly see I’ve absorbed more than a few masculine tendencies and living in an all male environment is often fascinating.
I marvel at their short attention spans resulting in twelve activities before mid morning. I’ve become adept at ducking balls as they whiz past my head whilst I prepare dinner. I no longer place value on ornamental decoration or nice lamps and I’ve almost resigned myself to the front room being a soft play area. The garden now only grows plants of a rubbery nature and I’m slowly becoming acclimatized to the smell of bottom that permeates the top floor.
Another aspect of an all male household is the unique bond between a boy and his willy. They never tire of freestyle willy dancing competitions or willy exposure hilarities. Then we have the random willy Q&A sessions. A recent discussion had three of the ratbags recoiling in horror, exclaiming
“Eurrgh that inside bit is disgusting”.
Thankfully He Who Gets Way More Sleep was on hand to talk them through that one. My two year old even has a little tune he sings whenever nappy free time allows him direct access.
However, as much as I love my boys I do reach the point where enough is enough.
A girl can only take so much before she has to reclaim her femininity. I shut the bedroom door, light a scented candle, admire the tulips I have purchased for myself. Then I pick up a book and escape into a world where farts are not the funniest thing on earth.
To all you outnumbered Mummies, Queens of all you survey … good fun isn’t it! xxx
