Mum of 4 falls off exercise wagon, severely bruising thighs on a jam doughnut.
Alright a packet of doughnuts but they were the mini ones and in truth I haven’t actually climbed onto the exercise wagon as yet but I have spent a massive amount of mental energy thinking about it.
I’m currently waiting for the nights to draw in so that I can get my rippling butt round the block under the cover of darkness. So until then here is my
Top tips for positive thoughts on post baby blubber.
1. Squashy tummies are better for babies and small children to snuggle into.
2. Blubber is a small price to pay for sanity saving new mummy friendships forged over tea, biscuits, chocolate and cake.
3. The longer it takes to get into your pre pregnancy jeans the sweeter the euphoria when that day finally arrives.
4. You are making other women feel 10x better about themselves.
5. An inflatable armchair is much nicer and more fun than a hard wooden bench.
6. Baby blubber reminds the world and your partner of your heroic life creating achievement less anyone dare forget.
7. You are sparing all your favourite clothes from vomit, snot and poo stains.
8. Massive knickers could be a life saver should you find yourself in an extreme survival situation.
9. Your partner will be so overwhelmed and grateful for any bedroom action that blubber is the last thing on his mind.
10. Bony bottoms only appeal to inferior men lacking integrity, humour, compassion, intelligence, parenting skills and common decency!
Keep smiling, be kind to yourself and stay focused on your best bits x