Hey Mr Tally Man, Tally my bananas

Hey Mr Tally Man, Tally my bananas

Like most Mamas (and Papas and anyone else with the responsibility of small people) out there, I am on the eternal pursuit of either time saving or somehow creating more hours in the day. I frequently think back to the heady days before The Cyborg and wonder what on earth I did with all of the wonderful empty time that I had available.

I am a huge fan of online everything – particularly shopping. I find nowadays, the threat of real life shopping with The Cyborg in tow fills me with dread. I know that at some point, if I am forced to be in real life shops, the red face and sweats will begin as The Cyborg begins to climb up something like Spiderman or worse still, indulge in a full on amazing tantrum which will draw spectators from far and wide with their helpful and sympathetic smiles. You know what I’m talking about don’t you?!

I particularly love online food shopping. Tippy tappy, click click click and a very lovely Supermarket delivery person turns up on my doorstep with everything I need for the week (and normally some useless things that are on offer.) I perhaps should rephrase the “I love” online food shopping to “I LOVED” online food shopping. I now have a completely irrational fear of it. Click click click, a smug nod of congratulations to myself for avoiding a supermarket outing and an email confirming that my weekly food will be arriving tomorrow between 7am and 8am. Brilliant.

Is it just me that skim reads delivery notes? Food delivery arrives, I skim read the delivery note, thanks very much and off I trot to unpack my food. Except there is an entire carrier bag FULL of bananas. No, wait, there is three carrier bags full of bananas. Seriously. Three full sized carrier bags full of bananas. Has this really happened?? Let me check that delivery note again, are they playing an awful trick on me? Is my Mama brain creating illusions now? Nope. You have ordered 8KG of bananas. 8KG OF BANANAS!!!! What on earth am I going to do with 8KG of bananas? Even I can’t make that much cake, curry and splits. A teeny tiny slip of my typing finger and I have selected KG instead of units. ARGH.

Dear lovely Supermarket, please please please could I have a tick box on the bottom of my order submission that says “I am submitting this whilst drawing a train, cooking dinner and stopping the cat being fed shreddies, anything that looks a bit strange, please don’t deliver to me, I don’t really want them”

I have a lot of banana cake in my world right now. And fortunately bananas are pretty good for running recovery (have I mentioned I’m training for the marathon?!!)